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Feeling Change but memories don’t.

Been having a hard time accepting change,not just any change but Change of Feelings.
Been trying to understand why it’s easy for everyone to conform to and accept a person’s change of attitude and feeling towards them so easily.
*sighs*
Is it wrong to be too sceptical?
Is it wrong not too easily accept the fact that someone’s attitude towards you, me has changed for better?
*hmm*
I’m in dilemma but more, my heart is aching.
I can’t or I just don’t want to give in so easily because chances are If you could treat me that bad before, you could easily do so again.
*aaaaarrrgggh*

Okay! So I’ve decided to try and give you the benefit of a doubt and accept that People really do change.
But I can’t stop thinking that If not for circumstances, if not that you didn’t find any alternative you’d have never realized my worth But more, I feel I deserve Better than you…
I deserve someone who Loves me for me and treats me right everytime, from the beginning and not when He didn’t find someone else that’s treats him like I do.

Uhm! When a Father abandons his family for another, for years and then comes back to be a better Father because the ‘another’ he left then didn’t exactly work out as Hoped…

When a Mother Dumps her child, for whatever reason and then comes back to reclaim her child when difficulties arise for her or when the child becomes Successful…

When a BoyFriend Treats his ‘Babe’ like shit and then, she leaves him for awhile and he is not bothered and then he suddenly resurface’s, Full of love and care and remorse and he excepts her to take him back (if she’s single sef, I dnt care)…

But, Then… You’ve to go away before people would miss you. You’ve to leave before people would realise your worth and your importance in the place you left.
Yea, sometimes things have to Go wrong before they become right.

Yea! I’m really Confused.

One thing though, for everyone to remember is: FEELINGS COULD CHANGE BUT MEMORIES DON’T.

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The love that Never really happened

I’ve been thinking about you for awhile,I remember you crossing my mind at least once everyday.
I slept only afta fantasising about us.
I lived everyday knowing that each passing day drew me closer to the Day I’d see you again.
I couldn’t watch romantic movies anymore cause they ended getting me Horny cause of You.
I was insane. It was just you.
I had sleepless nights cause I was wondering if you thought of Me and miss me as Much.

School resumed, unfortunately We couldn’t see immediately.
I had to arrange,you had to arrange.
I had course registration to do,so did You.
We needed to Pay school fees.
I got knew pals. You kept waiting for me to come back.
Activities drove us apart.
Funny how we barely spoke in school while we talked hours non-stop during holiday.
It hurt,but it was nobody’s fault.
Eventually,thoughts of You reduced.
Then, life just happened.

Until… 12:05am,18yrs after my birth(17weeks later).

I remember I was sleeping when my phone rang,usually I don’t sleep on d eve of my birthdays But this one was different.
I had worked my ass of that day,that no matter how hard I tried to stay awake I eventually found Myself sleeping. Anyways,like I was saying, my ringtone drew me out of bed.
I was reluctant to pick but, Oh My! When I saw it was you,Sleep ‘commot’ my eye sharp sharp.
“Happy Birthday Love, Wish you the very best” was what you said when I picked.
I can’t remember the rest of the conversation cause I was too engrossed in your voice. After the call, I couldn’t sleep. Shoot! You called me( I was enthralled). Then, I just knew it was going to be my best birthday yet.
6am,my doorbell rang.
It was You with lots of gifts that is, remember you coming in and telling me of all the plans you had for me(truly I wasn’t listening,I was too happy you were around for me plus ur lips-not the words coming out-thrilled me).
So,you made me breakfast while I took my bath. After eating and stuffs, my day began (the day you had planned out began).Uhmm,let’s skip the details of the day. But,I won’t fail to mention that my day was fun. Thanks.

I still don’t what made you sleep over at my place that night.
I remember you dropping me off,then you needed to pee so you came in too.
Then,we just got talking. Talked about how we had been since we last saw.
Then somewhere in between, I said “I swear,I’d give anything to kiss you again”. The rest is history(:p hehe). Ok! A little detail -Your lips tasted the same,but you kissed differently(I loved it still),truly I couldn’t get enough of the kiss and then Touching commenced, You hand on me was …(Mostly because we had never really gotten to that extent before), but Mehn! It was sexy! Oh! Yes I remenber i lost all sense of control.
And when u whispered u loved me (#sighs), Shoot! Or when u kept saying how much you loved my body(blushing still at the thought), OMG! thinking about it now sends shivers down my spine (ok,I think I have to stop now). I dunno o, buh It was the best I ever had.

As I send goodbye and thanks to you, the next morning I knew that was the last time We were ever going to get that Close. Still,I was very happy cause my fantasy had come true. I miss you and I’d forever remember that day.
Truly,you were my one true love that Life never allowed happen.