Rescued by God. Episode 3

I didn’t even call jason to say I was home. I was So mad at him. He called me, I didn’t pick. He kept calling and calling and I still didn’t pick. I just didn’t want to talk to him, In fact, it was over between us. I sent him a text a week after the incident to tell him that.
He was heart broken (so I heard from my friend Deb) and couldn’t concentrate on anything but I didn’t care. He messed up! Deb asked what happened, after awhile, I finally opened up to her and told her the whole story.
“… He had promised we weren’t going to have sex until marriage, he said he could do without sex. Oh he lied!” I cried.
And then, to my utter dismay, Deb started laughing. (“Why do people always laugh at me when I’m saying something very serious and important” I wondered angrily).
“You are laughing because?” I asked her
” Because you are stupid” she said
” Jason told me the whole thing before you did, I only allowed you talk because like Him I wasn’t sure what the problem was. Now, I have heard you, I can only laugh at how naïve and stupid you are”
Without allowing me reply, she continued
“He doesn’t want sex from you. He wasn’t going to sleep with you that day, He only wanted to Make out with you” she said in laughter.

Oh yea! I was confused. What the hell is Make out?
Stammering I said “i i i i ddddnt uun uun underderstand, what is Make out?”
As you must have guessed, Deb replied me first with another round of intense laughter, this time though, I couldn’t get angry, I only felt more stupid. Almost in tears, I pleaded with her to stop laughing and explain.
She then told me that making out is like foreplay but it doesn’t always have to lead to intercourse if both parties involved do not want it to.
Oh mehn! I had messed up.
I quickly picked my phone to call Jason and apologise but he didn’t pick.
I called him for three days straight, like 50 times a day, I sent text messages and got no reply or answer to calls.
The fourth day, we met at rehearsal and he gave me the most astounding Cold shoulder anyone can ever give someone. I bet other choir members noticed it too. I was hurt and pissed but I had to be calm as it turned out I was wrong after all.
After rehearsal, I tried talking to him but he ignored me. Eventually he stopped and said
“Sweets, I got your text messages and saw ur calls. I have forgiven you”
I was elated
Then he continued “But, let’s just be friends. I thought you trusted me and believed in me enough to know that I’d never go back on my words. You hurt me big time. If you had told me you knew absolutely nothing about intimacy and relationships, if you had told me you didn’t want kissing and making out as well as sex, I’d have known what to do. Now you just made me a fool. No p ok! It isn’t your fault, you are naïve and all but I’m sorry, I can’t date you anymore. Your naivety is too much for me to handle. So let’s just go back to being MD and AMD like before. Bye”
And he walked out.
Wow! I felt my whole world crush, I cried and cried and cried without caring who was watching. I got home and kept crying. Told Deb what happened, and she tried consoling me. It didn’t work.
I still tried to reason with Jason but when I saw it wasn’t working I gave up and went home.

I stayed at home for a week, my Parents’ were wondering what I was doing at home, 2weeks to my final exams. I just said I came to rest.
After that week, I felt better. Went back to school brand-new. Prepared for exams, wrote my exams. In church, I laughed and talked to Jason like we never dated.
I just pretended like nothing happened, Like my First relationship didn’t crash because I was naïve. Yea! I put up a brave front and continued with life.
I made sure though, that this experience didn’t dent my new found approachable nature.
But I knew I wasn’t going to date for a while.


Rescued By God. Episode 1

As a child, everyone around who was older always found it interesting to give me sex education. They all told me how I shouldn’t do it because it’s a Sin and because “If I try it, I will get pregnant •Immediately•”.
Well, I was pretty young when I started hearing these talks, and as I grew, it stuck and even amplified as anytime It seems I’m getting over those things I’ve been told or when I was becoming more open minded to the subject, something or someone ministered to my Family and made them Talk more about it (in it’s scariest nature) to me at that point.

These talks, I most say Got me really scared and traumatised, I didn’t even want to be friends with guys, ‘So my hormones won’t get out of control, making fall victim of pre-marital sex and then get Pregnant’.
One thing, that kept bothering though, over the years especially in my 3rd year in the university was how I’d find a husband after graduation.
See, at that time all my friends (well, majority) were in a relationship or two and few were already talking about getting married to the persons they were dating and yes! They were having sex. So I was wondering how they were dealing with the Pregnancy issue everytime they sexed. Until I gathered enough guts and asked one of them, who said, they were precautions -condoms, contraceptives and if u end up pregnant, you abort. I swear, this made it worse, knowing now that there is no 100% precautionary method expect abstinence, which means I shouldn’t date, as all guys like sex yea? Well, so I thought.
But, by the time I was in my 1st semester 400L I had reached my peak and I knew that immediately after school, I’d start thinking marriage as was the tradition in my family. But how then do I find a husband if I don’t date? (Don’t forget, Dating was synonymous to Sex for me).

During 1st semester break, I went home briefly (to collect money for my project) and then, I and my older sister got talking and I asked her about dating.
She laughed uncontrollably for minutes and I was exceptionally embarrassed, I was about walking out when she finally stopped laughing and started talking.
She told me, that dating really didn’t mean sex, that you could date someone without having sex and that having sex doesn’t mean you’d get pregnant and that those methods my friend’s told me about, though they weren’t 100% sure, actually do work and helps prevent STD’s and un-wanted Pregnancy.
*whew!* It felt good to finally have clarity. “Now, I will be more open and approachable. It’s time to date” I thought to myself.