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…Gone sour

•… There was a fight the other day
It felt good
Yeah! Jealousy means “Care’s and Love’s”
I felt Loved
Yeah! It’s okay to be mad,
If u feel I ain’t reciprocating as I ought•

•I want to make you happy,
I don’t want to hurt you,
Or make you feel less
I need you to be good with me,
I need to be a reason for your smiles,
Not an anger incentive•

………………………………………….

•Today, it all went away.
Today, I got stabbed in my heart.
Today, it all felt wasted.
Today, I got wounded.•

•Your words made me feel bad,
Your words stimulated anger,
Is it not appreciated?
Is it not seen?
Really, You don’t feel it?
Seriously, you don’t know it?•

Aaarrgggggh!

•I love you more than everyone else.
It’s cuts sharply when you insinuate something else.

Everyone else is jealous of you.
Makes me wonder why u get jealous of them •shrugs• •

I don’t how you want it

………………………………………….

Today is A DATE in History.

…The Day you defined our relationship.
•Mentorship you said•

How could you feel that’s what is keeping me with you? •Kai! You said this one sha

It’s okay! No it’s not! •cries•

U sound like, nothing I’d say or do would erase that thought, So …

•but since you couldn’t read the messages on the wall… *zips mouth*•

It’s not okay for you to feel that way!
•cries•

My fault for making you feel that way?
Your fault for misreading?
•Don’t care•

………………………………………….
Your words though!!!
I Love you still…
…Always!!!

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Random | introduction to Unconditional love

This morning my friend asked me ” Itimi, how is it possible to love unconditionally? Mehn! How did Jesus do it?”
I couldn’t give a concrete answer so I just smiled.
Thinking about it now, the only thing I can say is Loving Unconditionally is Hard.

How do you look beyond faults, flaws, lies and disappointment? How do you love someone who hurts you again and again? How do you love someone who doesn’t take your love serious or who takes you (and your love) for granted? How do we love beyond? How do we love even after all? How do we love unconditionally?

From experience:
I know that Loving isn’t easy.
It’s Pain, it’s hurt, it’s Fun, it’s joy… It’s a tragedy, It’s an enigma, it’s beautiful, complicated.
Love is a responsibility
Love required effort
Love is not easy.
If you claim to love, then you got to be able to take a lot of bullshit and bliss.

That is just Loving.
A love that can so choke you that you decide to stop caring, to stop loving, to just leave.
Conditional Love.

Now let’s check out Unconditional Love
Hehe!
If loving conditionally is as I described above, how is unconditional love like???
Unconditional Love is Love at it’s peak. It is Love – true love no matter what. It is forever.
Unconditional love is not choosy, unconditional love accepts and bears all, it never stops, it doesn’t leave, it loves beyond all flaws, it overlooks all faults. It is as described in 1Cor 13.
Yes! As human’s, unconditional love is hard. It requires patience, Tolerance, Strong will, a willing heart, a prayerful person and God’s grace. But hey! It’s possible.
Abeg e!

Bla bla bla!

I’m in love (wrong)…
… Sorry, at the moment I can say, I love someone unconditionally (sometimes I wish it was someone else I loved liked this) and truly it drives me crazy.
It’s beautiful but I hurt a lot because it’s like my •unconditonal love• Is not returned. Sometimes I wonder if this person loves me at all. I take lots of bullshit, I have had to deal with a lot of cold shoulder. There’s the jealousy part when the attention that’s supposed to mine is given to someone else without me being reasoned.
I just always have to deal with ish’s, makes me get •into my head• A lot. Makes me crazy and unsettled.
I have tried to •fashi• This person, I have tried to leave, I have tried to reduce the love, I have tried to forget but it never works. The loves just intensifies instead.
Drives me crazy.

But Well, if Jesus can love. I can too.
If God loves me no matter what, then I can love others too no matter what.

I JUST decided that I’m gonna keep loving, cause the truth is Love always brings the positive. So either, My love and worth would be fully appreciated one day and the love would be returned (By this person) or I’d just get it from someone else (or people sef!)…

Lord Grace to continue sha.

Hehe! I googled unconditional love, so I’m gonna share some stories about it that I found there. Enjoy!

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Feeling Change but memories don’t.

Been having a hard time accepting change,not just any change but Change of Feelings.
Been trying to understand why it’s easy for everyone to conform to and accept a person’s change of attitude and feeling towards them so easily.
*sighs*
Is it wrong to be too sceptical?
Is it wrong not too easily accept the fact that someone’s attitude towards you, me has changed for better?
*hmm*
I’m in dilemma but more, my heart is aching.
I can’t or I just don’t want to give in so easily because chances are If you could treat me that bad before, you could easily do so again.
*aaaaarrrgggh*

Okay! So I’ve decided to try and give you the benefit of a doubt and accept that People really do change.
But I can’t stop thinking that If not for circumstances, if not that you didn’t find any alternative you’d have never realized my worth But more, I feel I deserve Better than you…
I deserve someone who Loves me for me and treats me right everytime, from the beginning and not when He didn’t find someone else that’s treats him like I do.

Uhm! When a Father abandons his family for another, for years and then comes back to be a better Father because the ‘another’ he left then didn’t exactly work out as Hoped…

When a Mother Dumps her child, for whatever reason and then comes back to reclaim her child when difficulties arise for her or when the child becomes Successful…

When a BoyFriend Treats his ‘Babe’ like shit and then, she leaves him for awhile and he is not bothered and then he suddenly resurface’s, Full of love and care and remorse and he excepts her to take him back (if she’s single sef, I dnt care)…

But, Then… You’ve to go away before people would miss you. You’ve to leave before people would realise your worth and your importance in the place you left.
Yea, sometimes things have to Go wrong before they become right.

Yea! I’m really Confused.

One thing though, for everyone to remember is: FEELINGS COULD CHANGE BUT MEMORIES DON’T.