Love, Lust… Which?

Elena set the bottle of wine on the side , removing her shirt she looked at me and asked,‘ hey you don’ t mind if I go bra – less to do this do you? Some people get funny about it ?’ ‘ Oh god no it ’ s fine I ’ m doing the same’ I replied as she tugged her bra off. I couldn’ t help but stare a little as her breasts sprang free, they were smaller than mine with distinct dark nipples to match her colouring, she caught me looking and grinned. So I proceeded to remove my dressing gown and was naked aside from a black thong.

Alright…pause…you feel that thing happening to you?
That there my friend, is LUST. If someone gives you this feeling, know that you lust after that person. Lust is all about sexual desire and it is selfish. You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body. You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.You are lovers, but not friends.
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What if we just loved gay people

The concept of homosexuality has been on my mind for days now and after having a conversation on it last night, I have decided to write and share my thoughts.

Homosexuality from my Point of View:

Before anything, let me say this “I love God and I respect His authority and as a Christian,  the Bible is my highest authority;  what God’s word says is final. Hence, I agree that sleeping with (having sexual activities with) someone of same sex is wrong (1cor6:9, rom1:27, lev18:22, lev20:13, 1tim1:10) but I don’t agree that having feelings (been attracted to) someone of same sex is a sin. Why? Because, we dont have control over our feelings. Just the way we all find we have some muchy feelings for someone of opposite sex that’s how some others find they have feelings for same sex. They dont choose it, they wake up oneday and realise it. Their decision to act on it is a different matter tho, one the Bible passages mentioned earlier already addresses.: Continue reading


Better late than sorry

I’ve been single for a while now. The thing is; amongst my friends, i’m the only one still single and of recent, they have all been mocking me. They seem to believe I do not have what it takes to get a girlfriend. Uhm…dont get me wrong. When i say “girlfriend”, I don’t mean just any girl to sleep with. I’m talking of a girl i will be committed to as she will be to me.

Now, i’ve been given three weeks to get a girlfriend if I want to keep my ego intact. Unfortunately, I accepted this challenge.
This is Week two, nothing has been achieved but I have stopped to think and i realized, The Idea of being in a relationship is so beautiful and rosy that we forget what is important and what is not in our lives.
From my previous relationship, i learnt that relationship is only fun to be in when you really enjoy being with your partner.
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Why do people Cheat?

I was reading Chimamanda’s AMERICANAH sometime ago when I had this revelation (as I like to call it) about Cheating. Let me just say I was able to understand people better (this isn’t an excuse for cheating and it definitely doesn’t make it right but I gave me one more reason not to judge).

So why do people cheat? Or rather why do the most faithful of people cheat? By this I mean those men or women who have never thought about cheating before, who don’t look outside or compare their spouse to others, who have happy homes and love this spouse senseless but by reasons unknown to them find themselves flirting with, having sex with, or just going out on dates with someone who isn’t their spouse. Continue reading


Love or Nothing

I was talking to a friend yesterday and he said the only thing that can make him have a serious relationship is love, not physical appearance not intelligence not even spirituality just love.

I agreed with him, here’s why:
Love covers all. Love makes us able to overlook flaws. Love makes you stupid. Love is that force that draws you out and keeps you in. Love is the strongest yet most fragile feeling ever. Love looks beyond the imperfections and so only love can make you stay with someone forever and not walk away (or kill them).

We then decided that no matter how ‘perfect’ someone may be, if we dont feel drawn, if we dont love so much that it hurts, that their shortcomings matter no more, that it feels like we have to breathe the same air with him/her to live then we shouldnt marry. Continue reading



Memories are made every moment, some last longer than others, some are more intense but i have come to realise that with time all memories fade, though the intensity of the fading varies depending on how much and how often we always try to recall.

Maybe one day you’d reach for a memory like I did yesterday and discover that it’s blur, you’d try so hard to get the vivid images but you may not find it and then you’d wonder if it was your imagination all along. Continue reading


Subtle issues

Race, it isnt always directly said but instead inferred. Age, it wouldn’t be a principal thing but it cant be willed away. Finance, cuts the corners but it’s there. Feelings, accepting them could tear you down so we look them out.

Today, I discovered that they are somethings in relationships that both parties will try not to remember but no matter how subtle the inference maybe, how good they both are in moving around the bush, those issues would never stop lurking around.

For instance: a relationship where the lady is the breadwinner or the man just cant take care of her as he ought.
Two bestfriends with 6years age difference.
A relationship where one’s Parents doesnt accept/like the spouse.
A white and a black dating in a country full of racists.
A relationship where one has cheated before.
A friendship falling apart but the parties not able to find a middle ground.
A relationship that both know wouldn’t lead anywhere but ain’t willing to part.
Or Loving your friend who loves another. You know trying to be friends with someone who you terribly in love with.
Or knowing your bestfriend isnt your bestfriend no more but you both trying to act like everything is okay.

They are lots of things we try to will out, try to pretend it isnt there. We try to hold things back, keep them lurked it, we try to forget things (because the memory is too good and the present isn’t)

Why I’m I writing this? Maybe because I just fully understood that no matter how we try to pretend or will certain things out, the truth is they are still there.

So what do we do? Accept and move on and believe that at the end those issues can make your relationship stronger. They can build you. And at the end whatever will be would be.
Do we stop willing them out? No! It makes living easier, so live easy and dont try too hard, what will be would be. Keep the feelings in if it makes life easier, at the end if it doesnt kill you (which it wouldn’t) then you’d be stronger.
Be happy and let no ish disturb your living.