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Yours’ Aine 2

This is Old, but Still Valid

When I said I love you, I meant it with all my heart.
That I can’t do anything about it, a curse I’d have to live with.

When I said I never wanted to hurt you, I meant it with all my heart.
That I ended up doing that, a regret I’d have to live with.

Saying I miss you is an understatement
I want to see you today, tomorrow and every tomorrow.

No, It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with you.
Who knows, my dreams would have come true with you.

That I can’t do anything about it, a curse I’d have to live with.

Aine!

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A Moment of Relapse

Sometimes You’d have a relapse for a moment or two;
A Moment when the pain/hurt/anger you have been shutting out hits you like a bucket of ice water.
A Moment when you’d feel broken/betrayed all over again.
A Moment of intense emotional instability. That Moment when your emotions tries to trick you into believing that you haven’t gone as far as you thought, that you haven’t grown as much as you thought, that you are still as weak as before…

When this moment of relapse comes…
Remember that it is there for only a moment – except you decide to allow it.

So, when it comes,
STOP,
Take a very long & deep breath,
let it out slowly – really slowly
& then Keep Going.

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Yours’ Aine 1

Hey You,

I wrote this a few weeks ago.

“Do I love you?
Yes I do.

Do I care about you?
Very much! I genuinely totally do.

Do I want to be in your life?
Listen to You? Be there for you?
Make you happy?
Yes I do… A lot.

Do I want to be with you?
Very much.

But would I?
No, I won’t.

I’m I sorry?
Way too much!
Does it hurt?
It does, even physically.

Then why?
Because It’s important to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.

My solution?
I’d keep writing to myself about you,
Until I stop!

It’s been weeks and I haven’t stopped thinking of you, writing about and to you (though you can’t see them).

I Miss (Want) You.

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Yours’ Aine

I keep thinking about you,
So much that I can’t think straight.

I see you every single time I close my eyes,
Whether I’m sleeping or just trying to distract myself and shut out the world.

Thoughts of you have become the perfect distraction.
Images of you is my solace.

I miss you so bad it’s beginning to hurt physically.
Every Fair one, reminds me of you.

I just want to hear your voice,
ensure you are alright.
Tell you I miss you,
Ask if you miss me.

I wonder if you still think of me.
I hope you still do.
Because I think of you everyday.

I Miss You. I really do.
Lol! What do I even miss? I don’t know
Maybe,

…The Safety
The Struggle – My Struggle
The Complication
The Warmth
Long conversations
Your Smile – Your Wahala
The Feeling of being Wanted
You!

In all Honesty, I’m Amazed I fell for you this hard.
I’m not sure if this feeling is because you are a forbidden fruit or because of how being with you feels. I’m not sure why it’s this strong. I just know that;

It is strong.
It is real…
… And I wish I could do something tangible about it. More like, Something ‘not destructive’.

I Love You and I just want you hear your voice.