As a child, everyone around who was older always found it interesting to give me sex education. They all told me how I shouldn’t do it because it’s a Sin and because “If I try it, I will get pregnant •Immediately•”.
Well, I was pretty young when I started hearing these talks, and as I grew, it stuck and even amplified as anytime It seems I’m getting over those things I’ve been told or when I was becoming more open minded to the subject, something or someone ministered to my Family and made them Talk more about it (in it’s scariest nature) to me at that point.
These talks, I most say Got me really scared and traumatised, I didn’t even want to be friends with guys, ‘So my hormones won’t get out of control, making fall victim of pre-marital sex and then get Pregnant’.
One thing, that kept bothering though, over the years especially in my 3rd year in the university was how I’d find a husband after graduation.
See, at that time all my friends (well, majority) were in a relationship or two and few were already talking about getting married to the persons they were dating and yes! They were having sex. So I was wondering how they were dealing with the Pregnancy issue everytime they sexed. Until I gathered enough guts and asked one of them, who said, they were precautions -condoms, contraceptives and if u end up pregnant, you abort. I swear, this made it worse, knowing now that there is no 100% precautionary method expect abstinence, which means I shouldn’t date, as all guys like sex yea? Well, so I thought.
But, by the time I was in my 1st semester 400L I had reached my peak and I knew that immediately after school, I’d start thinking marriage as was the tradition in my family. But how then do I find a husband if I don’t date? (Don’t forget, Dating was synonymous to Sex for me).
During 1st semester break, I went home briefly (to collect money for my project) and then, I and my older sister got talking and I asked her about dating.
She laughed uncontrollably for minutes and I was exceptionally embarrassed, I was about walking out when she finally stopped laughing and started talking.
She told me, that dating really didn’t mean sex, that you could date someone without having sex and that having sex doesn’t mean you’d get pregnant and that those methods my friend’s told me about, though they weren’t 100% sure, actually do work and helps prevent STD’s and un-wanted Pregnancy.
*whew!* It felt good to finally have clarity. “Now, I will be more open and approachable. It’s time to date” I thought to myself.