lamentation|’My friend’

When I’m bored,lots of things run through my mind, at the moment, the one thing I want to dwell on is ‘My friend’

I have this friend, I love her to bits, like I love `nonsense-senseless-with sense but sometimes I can’t trust her at all.
She’s fond of having her way,no matter how she attains that.
She’s the one ‘close friend’ I can’t be totally free with, like I need to always watch my back with her, I need to be prim and proper, I have to think things right and most of all I MUST think before I talk (a lesson I learnt recently).
Now, she’s my paddy, my buddy,’ my real guy’ but I have to be careful because even though she loves me a lot and knows I’d do anything for her, she’s in a large extent not able to keep a secret. And oh yes! She doesn’t know how to keep things (most things) between just ‘two of us’ (if I’m having this ish with ‘A’ and I tell u about it, I dnt expect you to go and tell ‘A’ about it).
She is that one person that doesn’t know how to not talk about certain issues, (I like giving gist o, and I do it pretty well but if I there’s this one thing you don’t like me doing and its something I love doing, whenever I do it, I won’t tell you no matter how I want to. Maybe I’m just over sensitive to people’s feelings but I can’t confidently tell you about something that you don’t like hearing).
She care’s, but is the one person that hurts people ‘she cares about’ most. It’s the attitude thing plus her selfish nature.
I’m only writing this because at this point I’m pissed.

•••You needed an info, I gave u, do you have to ask the other party about it? Making me look like the bad one? Now, you add issues to issues.
You do only what you want. Fortunate and terrible is I’m learning how to be like you (for you) but most times it doesn’t work (I’m not ‘hurter’ (if there’s a word like this) kind of person.•••

I don’t like her at all but I can’t help to love her. Her beautiful side is beautiful but her nasty side is dead nasty.
She leaves me confused, angry, happy, heart_broken and loved.

Sometimes, I feel its just going to be for awhile ( I keep praying so) that it’s cause of the environment and situation we are in (but if you can’t be a good friend in thick then are you worth the thin?).
Other times, I feel I have to work on myself so I’d be able to handle you but then it’s not me that should change, its you right?


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