lamentation|’I am torn’

“If wishes were horses”
‘If there was no law to be obeyed’
If I could have all I want…
I won’t be so torn right now! ***

Life has turned so unrealistic…
‘Life had brought in so much dreams that won’t be fulfilled’
Life is now too complicated*

Life has made me question who I am…
…’I used to feel confident in me, I felt I totally knew me – my feelings, my preferences, what I can and cannot do.’ Now, I’m not certain anymore.

Life has brought me so much chaos, my true self is being tested¤¤

Does it have to be this hard?
Do I have to hurt this much?
Why won’t purpose just find me fast?
Why can’t I fulfil destiny without this phases?**

I won’t say “God why?”
But really why?…
I want it but no!, I can’t have it…
…I get it once, but I’m not satisfied (smh)¤
The harder I try to get out,the deeper I get in••aaaarggggh’

Why can’t life be a bed of roses?
Why the plenty issues?
Why can’t I find a balance?

Isn’t it too much for me?
I’m not sure I’m good enough!

Why does everything require sweat?`
Not like I’m totally lazy but really why won’t my little efforts produce great results and why does my greatest effort seem not good enough? ••sighs*

I’m tired of the phases“
I’m tired of the aches“
I’m tired of laying awake each night“

I just want the bright future to get here very fast!

Lord, forgive me.
I know you won’t give me more than i can handle but, okay, no but!
Just have your way.

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2 thoughts on “lamentation|’I am torn’

  1. Our purpose is to turn those ideas and dreams that are longing to come to pass into reality, cos they were put in us by our Heavenly Father;
    And to make possible those ”imposible thoughts” cos when imposibility meets purpose, purpose always triumph!

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