The BFF that never was!

She started my school when we were in SS1. She is short,bold and beautiful. She has the ability to run you down with her mouth,sharp kid,smart and ambitious. Doesn’t care much about people,never let’s anyone see beyond the outer. She is calm and collected,plays when necessary n serious when needed.
At 1st we didn’t click,we just functioned as hi-hi friends until inter house football competition. l was my house soccer captain and she was interested in playing for my house. Well, trainings commenced,she was a good defender n uhm as u would have guessed already we got close.
She appealed to me on so many levels. We agreed and disagreed so many subjects. We’d analyse nd dissect ourselves for hours, she was like a soul sister. She could rightly guess my thoughts and interpret my actions, I could never Fake with her. Mehn we got reali close.
We’d sit under a palm tree in my school and talk for hours,sometimes we’d even skip classes. We became a subject. I lost friends because of her buh I ‘lai lai’ care. I got so comfty with her dat I started sharing my deepest secrets with her,and that’s when she started withdrawing. I told her stuffs upon stuffs upon stuffs but she sadly never opened up to me like that,at that time I felt maybe she had no deep secrets to share(I was wrong tho).
Now,after awhile she just left me,she couldn’t look me in the eye,she wasn’t comfortable having long conversations with me anymore. It hurt,mehn it hurt really bad. I couldn’t understand what went wrong. My bestie just ditched me like that.
Well.. After awhile(a really long while) I got Me back,didn’t care about her or her(I pray o hehe!). Anyways,I went back to my old friends n luckily they accepted me back. We startd rolling again,looking for trouble,reading and being us. And gradually my bestie faded(I still had the memories tho and I never regretted meeting her or telling her stuffs, cos it loosen me up and gave me air).
By the time we were in ss3 we were hi-hi friends officially again(buh it can’t b d same na,u dig?) Anyways,she suddenly started coming close,I was skeptical for a longwhile but eventually gave in. We came close again,but dis time I was different. I didn’t allow her in (well,up until my 100l in varsity).
This time she opened up and told me stuffs and said she ditched me cos she was scared and didn’t know how to respond to my ishs(mtcheeww,stupid!). She was sorry,she tried advising but I ‘lai lai’ listen(I had already gone passed those ishs already and had new ones to deal with(hehe)). We talked and talked and shared varsity experiences and I felt I Had an official bestie till I realised I did all the work. I called 1st,texted 1st and had to always pressurise b4 she talkd. So I gave up n stoppd caring(truly dis time). Funny! Buh she never tried gettn me back(makes me wonder if she cared at all). I thought and hoped d distance would make her realise I was a great frnd(she did buh she never tried as much I did,so I let her go completely and now I almost not care.

Funny! How u cud gv someone all nd they dnt appreciate. Issorai sha, I have learnt lessons nd its an experience.
Yea! She was the bestfriend forever that never was!

For awhile I had no Friend,I didn’t want someone to come and go with a part of mw again,I didn’t want to love and not love back. But why should I ruin my Future relationships because of a Past one? Why should I miss out on all the Fun I could have with friends? So I came alive again and now I have the best friends anyone could have.

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