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Yours’ Aine 2

This is Old, but Still Valid

When I said I love you, I meant it with all my heart.
That I can’t do anything about it, a curse I’d have to live with.

When I said I never wanted to hurt you, I meant it with all my heart.
That I ended up doing that, a regret I’d have to live with.

Saying I miss you is an understatement
I want to see you today, tomorrow and every tomorrow.

No, It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with you.
Who knows, my dreams would have come true with you.

That I can’t do anything about it, a curse I’d have to live with.

Aine!

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A Moment of Relapse

Sometimes You’d have a relapse for a moment or two;
A Moment when the pain/hurt/anger you have been shutting out hits you like a bucket of ice water.
A Moment when you’d feel broken/betrayed all over again.
A Moment of intense emotional instability. That Moment when your emotions tries to trick you into believing that you haven’t gone as far as you thought, that you haven’t grown as much as you thought, that you are still as weak as before…

When this moment of relapse comes…
Remember that it is there for only a moment – except you decide to allow it.

So, when it comes,
STOP,
Take a very long & deep breath,
let it out slowly – really slowly
& then Keep Going.

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Yours’ Aine 1

Hey You,

I wrote this a few weeks ago.

“Do I love you?
Yes I do.

Do I care about you?
Very much! I genuinely totally do.

Do I want to be in your life?
Listen to You? Be there for you?
Make you happy?
Yes I do… A lot.

Do I want to be with you?
Very much.

But would I?
No, I won’t.

I’m I sorry?
Way too much!
Does it hurt?
It does, even physically.

Then why?
Because It’s important to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.

My solution?
I’d keep writing to myself about you,
Until I stop!

It’s been weeks and I haven’t stopped thinking of you, writing about and to you (though you can’t see them).

I Miss (Want) You.

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Yours’ Aine

I keep thinking about you,
So much that I can’t think straight.

I see you every single time I close my eyes,
Whether I’m sleeping or just trying to distract myself and shut out the world.

Thoughts of you have become the perfect distraction.
Images of you is my solace.

I miss you so bad it’s beginning to hurt physically.
Every Fair one, reminds me of you.

I just want to hear your voice,
ensure you are alright.
Tell you I miss you,
Ask if you miss me.

I wonder if you still think of me.
I hope you still do.
Because I think of you everyday.

I Miss You. I really do.
Lol! What do I even miss? I don’t know
Maybe,

…The Safety
The Struggle – My Struggle
The Complication
The Warmth
Long conversations
Your Smile – Your Wahala
The Feeling of being Wanted
You!

In all Honesty, I’m Amazed I fell for you this hard.
I’m not sure if this feeling is because you are a forbidden fruit or because of how being with you feels. I’m not sure why it’s this strong. I just know that;

It is strong.
It is real…
… And I wish I could do something tangible about it. More like, Something ‘not destructive’.

I Love You and I just want you hear your voice.

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When a Million Sorries wouldn’t make a Difference.

Omo,

Nights are usually the hardest, that moment just before I doze off is when my mind does a flashback and my heart beat increases its temple by a million. It’s when I feel the pain, get a taste of my own stupidity and cry out hot tears that substitute for what I can’t say.

This is probably one of the very few things I’d regret for the rest of my life – as I write this, the only thing I can remember regretting. One of those mistakes that changes one’s life forever. Continue reading

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Life is about

Life is about trusting your feelings…
Life is about taking chances…
Life is about learning from the past…
Ts about realizing people change…
Ts about losing and finding happiness…
Life is about appreciating the memories…

Life has the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful…
Life is about having experiences, it is about hoping and having Faith…

Life isn’t about finding yourself, ts about creating yourself…
Life is less what happens to you and more how you respond to it…

…Perception…

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Moments that change lives

I don’t know the exact moment my life changed. Was it when I was at home giving my colleagues ideas on some ish? Or was it when I became the mediator between my colleagues and our boss? Or was it when I woke up that monday morning and realised,  I was really at the summit? Or was when it i was chosen to lead that little group even though i protested against it? Maybe it was when I unconsciously took up the responsibility to get my group (go team Red, hehe) in place so we could get to work or maybe it was when my group officially made me the leader or maybe it was when I got up on stage and began the presentation or maybe it was day that, over a year ago at a seminar where I met Alex and he gave him his card or just maybe it the day I finally put all efforts in sending my application or maybe it was that day over two years ago when I met Ejay because but for Ejay I wouldnt have gone for the meeting point and i wouldnt have met alex and I probably wouldn’t be writing this.

Anyway, whatever moment changed me isnt as important as the fact that I’m changed and its for the better.
Continue reading